Not Here For Christmas-_-_

Well December brings good memories... Especially cause this December i was looking forward to going Ice Skating with Jim. Almost every year it seamed that he always took us sledding or  something fun in the winter, but now it's not the same its already so different. Waiting on Jim to come back is like waiting on Santa to come to life :( Even if i know someday i will see him again it seems way too long... this Christmas seems so different... no snow, its not that cold, and no Jim... but i have talked to My Best Friend today... she got an iPod Camera and Lots of Hollister and Aeropostale clothes. I talk to her a lot and I'm glad i do! But her house seems so empty... Sometimes i feel like crying and sometimes i feel like beating the crap out of someone because he is gone. My feelings still haven't changed from the first day we met till now.

But for Christmas i got Briona this really cool giant picture of us! It's poster size! We got Jamie these really cool blown up pictures of Jim For Christmas and about two or three years ago we went to this tourney and got a big trophy. Well my dad sponsored that year so we had the trophy. so we gave it to Her. I got Baleigh a new Sims game because every-time I'm there we play Sims. Well I have to go~

I Love You Jim <33

AL-FORD

Jim Miller

WELL I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT JAMES MILLER, BUT I CAN'T :( SO LETS JUST START LIKE THIS, JAMES MILLER? WELL I HAVE KNOWN HIM ALL MY LIFE. REALLY BECAUSE OF SOFTBALL AND ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, HIS BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER, BRIONA JANISE MILLER.JIM WASN'T THE TYPE TO JUST SIT AROUND AND WATCH T.V. JIM WAS ONE OF THE MOST OUT GOING, LOVING, HARD WORKING PERSON I HAVE EVER MET. HE WAS ALWAYS WORKING OUTSIDE, HE WAS YOUR EVERYDAY OUTDOORSMAN! BUT FOR ALL HE DID, HE ALWAYS TOOK JALEENA, BRIONA, AND I WERE EVER WE WANTED TO GO. JIM WAS JUST LIKE A NORMAL ADULT HE HAD PLANS, A JOB, AND A FAMILY, BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP HIM FROM TAKING US T-PEEING OR MOVIES OR EVEN A DRIVE. JIM ALWAYS CANCELLED HIS PLANS TO TAKE US PLACES.

I WAS PROBABLY OVER THERE EVERYDAY THIS PAST SUMMER.HE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR US, HE ALWAYS KNEW ALL THE RIGHT WORDS TO SAY, AND ALL THE RIGHT ACTIONS TO TAKE. I NEVER KNEW THAT AT THE BLINK OF AN EYE THAT THOSE WORDS WOULD STOP :(  

WELL THAT NIGHT HE PASSED AWAY I WAS AT HOME SLEEPING . ALLI WAS OVER BECAUSE MY DAD WAS GONE AND MY MOM GETS SCARED VERY EASILY. SO SHE WOKE US UP AT ABOUT  1 A.M, SHE WAS CRYING BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE AS BAD AS IT WAS. WE SHE TOLD ME I DIDN'T EVEN CRY, IT WAS WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH FOR A PERSON TO HANDLE. I KEPT TELLING MY SELF "HOPE WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" BUTI NEVER DID FROPM THE NIGHTMARE. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT JIM WOULD LEAVE ME. LEAVE ME, HIS FAMILY, FRIENDS... HE LEFT ALL OF US. AND NOW THERE IS A HOLE IN  MY HEART THAT WILL ALWAYS BE THERE AND NEVER EVER GO AWAY. EVERY DAY I THINK... WHAT IF I COULD JUST HEAR "HEY AL-FORD" ONE MORE TIME. IT SEEMS LIKE IS WOULD ALL BE DIFFERENT BUT IT'S NOT! NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME, NOT TODAY, TOMORROW, OR A WEEK FROM NOW, HE WILL STILL BE GONE. 

BUT ONE LAST THING I JUST WANT TO SAY, JIM I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU IN HEAVAN! YOU CAN HELP ME SLIDE RIGHT TO HOME BASE LIKE YOU DID WHEN I WAS LITTLE, BUT THIS TIME IT IS REALY "HOME BASE." I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH JIM THAT WORDS CAN'T EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL. LOVING YOU IS LIKE TRYING TO EXPLAIN HOW WATER TASTES... IMPOSSIBLE 

I LOVE YOU JIM, 

AL-FORD